Deep reflections or more bull…

Wow, it’s already the middle of April. Pretty soon, it’ll be July, then the holiday season again. Geesh. But marriage season is coming up, with that same question asked over and over: “how come you never got married?”. Easy: no quality men when interested, and too busy working for companies’ benefit. And what did I get out of all that work? No money and lots of knowledge, including about the lack of integrity of upper management. I should have just taken the irresponsible route, and would have had more fun and at someone else’s expense. Funny, I’ve recently paid for the irresponsible route of others who don’t have a financial care in the world.

But there were plenty of good ones that got away: William G, (aaaah William, William William! a real man who does exist), Stephen Baldwin (nope not that one, but what was I thinking? I actually had a “Baldwin” and a simple family guy who was hella funny and fun to be with), Dalvin (but he’s married to a beautiful and nice woman, so I’m very happy with that because he’s a good guy), Jerome (sigh), Kevin L, Greg Langston, Mack Morgan (that smile, and damn he looked good in his U.S. Marine Corps uniform), David G. (a gorgeous hazel-eyed mormon with the sweetest crush, but hell I was catholic and too anti-God for the longest), Keith G. (so good even when just friends, a classmate worked overtime to call me about him for her benefit *rolling eyes*), Richard Benn (we’re now worried sick about him, but not much we can do, but we’ll all be here for him, and still kicking my ass for moving away from him, or should have just dragged him with me), Jeff W. (so cool and so good a woman proposed to him, beehotch! but I’m not bitter…. :) his sincerity, honesty and brain were total turn-ons), Larry Basner (a chef! what the hell was I thinking?! I just couldn’t handle the smoking, but he was a great guy) and Scott and Ain (two people I treated like shit in the end, just because I could and felt like dumping some of the careless shit dumped on me, but I miss Ain’s friendship, humor and intelligence more than anything).

And ironically none of these guys are anything like the losers I dated. Some of the losers I now wonder what the hell it was I saw in the first place. In fact, all of the guys above have qualities on the top level of my “must have qualities” list. See, it’s not timing, it’s about paying friggin’ attention.

But then marriage-schmarriage…I’ve only seen a couple really work, the rest ended in bitter divorces or dysfunctional situations. So who knows, I probably didn’t miss anything. But I know for sure I’m missing nothing with today’s multi-baby and multi-women having responsibility dodging “I’ve always liked men but am coming out after 20 years of marriage to a woman” fools.

Oh gee… next month, birthday month. How can I get members of FDNY or NYPD to do a strip show?  Mental note: get doctor’s note which says “strip show is a matter of life and death”. (find drunk ass doctor)

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