GOP vs. Your Uterus

Ladies, if you’re not providing detailed reports regarding your uterus, especially to Roy Blunt and The Uterus Patrol, you could be destroying the country!

Today’s Dixiecrat-to-GOP has created numerous bills to regulate your vagina, but their jobs bills are about as non-existent as an actual GOP Christian not bearing assault rifles 24/7. It is believed that your uterus is a grave threat to our nation. What goes inside of it and what comes out of it must be detailed, especially on behalf of pro-life lobbyists. But, of course, if a baby comes out of your uterus, you and your baby (or babies) are on your own!

So here’s the plan: LET THE GOP MASTER YOUR UTERUS! Let them fully understand it. Perhaps with a greater understanding of your vagina and uterus, the GOP will realize your vagina and uterus isn’t a threat or an issue to regulate 24/7. THEN the GOP can focus on creating bills that will allow hiring of persons with vaginas. Then, maybe more women will be allowed on Capitol Hill without being demonized as a threat to our nation’s security. Then the economy will become a priority. I hope.

Roy Blunt couldn’t manage the economy during his previous Bush admin term, but he was re-elected to regulate your vagina. So after he’s done investigating “all things vagina”, he can finally focus on the economy.

Allow Roy Blunt and NSA to monitor your OB/GYN, you know, just to make sure no WMDs are being smuggled in and out of your uterus. Have Aunt Flo check-in PRIOR to arrival. The fact that she shows up unannounced and without luggage could be what is disturbing the GOP. Allow a microchip to be planted into your uterus so that all activity can be recorded daily. Once the GOP discovers it was “much ado about nothing”, they can move on to bigger issues like the economy.

So be patriotic ladies! Register your uterus with Roy Blunt and The Uterus Patrol. Now if you really wanna make some cash, incorporate your uterus. ‘Memba the Supreme Court decision that “Corporations Are People Too”? Well, incorporate your uterus and watch Roy Blunt and The Uterus Patrol come groveling to it with all kinds of tax breaks and subsidies at the expense of the poor, elderly and veterans!

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