Hoodrats of America

Definition of a Hoodrat

See Also: Asian Hoodrats (below)

This is dedicated to all who are striving to be more than a “baby mama,” and to those low self-esteem women, who hopefully will rise above one day. It’s not where you live, it’s how you live.

This is even funnier if you think back to your high school documentary films. You know that guy’s voice…. well imagine his voice relaying these words.

A hoodrat is the worst thing someone can be called, especially if it’s true. In general, it’s just a funny word when good friends are teasing each other. But when used as an “insult”, directed towards a specific individual who meets the criteria below, it’s very serious, and an indication that the next step to follow is usually a drop kick out of something. But hoodrats are one of the lowest forms of humanity, lower than a sewer rat, and are incapable of having morals and common sense. They are beyond inclusion into society, yet repeatedly procreate so many more like them, who surprisingly think they’re “fly” (a slang term for “a highly desirable person”).

It can sometimes be very hard to spot a hoodrat initially. But once you’ve identified the hoodrat, it is very easy to move away and disassociate from the hoodrat. You can also laugh wholeheartedly about the hoodrat encounter, because the hoodrat is just that: “amusing”.

Obviously, hoodrats are first attracted to other hoodrats, as that is what they’re exposed to first. They typically associate themselves physically with a celebrity they “think” they resemble, in order to feel more acceptable. This conversation usually begins with something like “they say I look like Tracy McGrady or one of the Wayans Brothers.” For the general population, the response is “Who?”, but to other hoodrats, this makes the hoodrat feel they are “fly”, therefore, neither involved hoodrat concentrates on developing positive personality characteristics. Physical appearance is most important, as it is believed this will lead to temporary financial gain at the expense of others.

A hoodrat doesn’t necessarily live in the hood. Often times, they may live in suburban settings, purely by baffling luck or chance, certainly not from hard work and integrity. So don’t be alarmed to find out your new neighbor is a hoodrat if you live in a middle or upper-class neighborhood.

A hoodrat isn’t necessarily of one race or economic status. They can be black, white, Latino, and to my surprise, Asian (thanks Mr. Park for the info 😊 ), as well as poor, middle-class, or filthy stinking rich. This is why it can be difficult to spot some hoodrats. Some people are fooled by the hoodrat’s temporary material property, which most of the time belongs to their “baby’s mama”, “baby’s daddy”, their mama or another person being deceived by the hoodrat. Or if the material possessions are theirs, it won’t last but a minute. The temporary property gives the hoodrat an opportunity to temporarily escape their hoodrat world, which they refer to as “drama“, and feel a part of general society, if only for a moment. They sometimes wear clothing that matches the clothing of the general population, so they wouldn’t stand out in a crowd in most cases. But more often, hoodrats can be spotted in very colorful outfits that you can see coming a mile away.

Hoodrats are usually referred to as “baby mama” or “baby daddy” (as they are not married with children, or have a child with a married hoodrat). Each of their children have different daddies or mamas, and they typically have more than 2. The most disturbing case was a hoodrat with 7 children by 7 different women, and only 1 of the pride was employed. Hoodrat females with one child are typically part of a proudly accepted “pack” of other women, with children of the same hoodrat male, who has to grudgingly share his time with each of them. This behavior is also proudly referred to as “pimping“.

Outings with the children involve just that, “the children”, or only one of the “baby’s mamas” is allowed to attend the outing, IF she has ample money to pay for the event.

Typically, when owning one or more children, the hoodrat male and female surprisingly does not want to work. Work is not as important as procreating more hoodrats, which is considered a blessing, but a tax burden for general society, which normally has to plan wisely, be married first, save money or sacrifice material possessions before or after having a child.

Hoodrats typically don’t have a driver’s license, don’t understand insurance, yet, feel very comfortable behind the wheel of a car, and often want to drive expensive cars they can’t afford to replace if damaged. This is also referred to as “trifling“, but law enforcement refers to it as “breaking the law”, something the hoodrat “ain’t even worryin’ ’bout“. Gas is the responsibility of the car owner, and typically not replaced by the hoodrat. Hoodrats can’t spell “credit report”, so most of their utilities and basic comforts are credited in one of their “baby mama’s” name, their mama’s name, child’s name, or a late relative. Male hoodrats will typically not credit another male hoodrat’s utilities, as they have a pride of their own to finance.

A hoodrat will often appear in public looking “clean as the board of health”, but not have two nickels to rub together. Most of the income provided, more often by a “baby mama” or “baby daddy”, is applied towards designer clothing, shoes and jewelry. This makes the hoodrat feel comfortable and accepted. It is better to look good and be broke, than look broke AND be broke. Looking good allows them to sometimes blend in with others who aren’t broke.

It is when hoodrats try to enter normal society that problems arise. By attempting to associate with the working society, this leads to them being referred to as “hoodrat”, because they eventually display their hoodrat characteristics, which cannot be disguised for long, even with training or appropriate attire. The hoodrat’s true characteristics are always exposed with their own lying.

Hoodrats typically have to lie to mix with the general population. A hoodrat will lie about and say anything. It is an instinctive survival technique. Hoodrats, upon entering the general population, expect all to be given to them, and try to take as much as possible of anything available, and provide nothing in return, as they can’t provide anything in return. The cause of this behavior is disturbing as well as unknown. It could be that the hoodrat knows their time is limited with the general population and feels it must “grab all it can, while it can“.

Surprisingly, hoodrats often feel scorned when “dismissed” or “kicked to the curb” after being exposed. They don’t understand the dismissal, because their “game” was supposed to work. “Hmmm, how can this be?” or “This is crazy” is their typical response when confronted. Questioning the hoodrat about their harmful actions is pretty much a waste of time, because the hoodrat encounter began with a lie. But, of course, this repeated failure does not phase the hoodrat, they will attempt reentry into general society again, to escape the “baby mama” or “baby daddy” drama, which is why it is important to spot the signs ahead of time to save yourself a waste of time or money.

oooohhh SNAP!!

Asian Hoodrats! Who Knew?!

From Jim Park:
Thanks for the info!

Here are the tell tale signs of an Asian hoodrat.

1. It is 2008 and they have a high fade. Yes, a high fade that was once cool on Shawn Kemp in 1992. There are only two haircuts that will prevent a person from climbing up the social ladder, a high fade and a mullet.

2. They spend $ 25,000 to upgrade a $5,000 Honda Civic. They spend money on a spoiler, NOS, metal pedals, and ridiculous racing decals even though they are nowhere near a race track. The NOS is used to get away from their reality.

3. They are always involved in some sort of scam, like a pyramid scheme, or Amway-type services. They always seem to have a get rich quickly scheme, but without the knowledge, education, or charisma to follow through, they usually end up “bumming” a couple bucks here and there “to get by”.

4. Whenever you go to dinner with them in a large group, they eat up and drink up. Even though they are hoodrat, they know the “value” of lobster, so they slyly order it. But when the total bill comes out, they quietly contribute a fiver. Hoodrat never pay their share. If you have dinner with a hoodrat, take extra cash to cover their food, tax, and tip.

5. Asian hoodrat think that they are smart. But deep down inside, they know that their math skills are lacking. And they can’t hide the fact that numbers confuse them. An Asian who is not a mathlete is like a beaver who sucks at building dams. This is the key tell tale sign of an Asian hoodrat. Ask him or her what 20% of 100 is. A non hoodrat will know. If you want to see their head explode, then quiz them on fractions or long division.

6. Asian hoodrats are illogical. They have a pseudo intellectual streak. But they won’t make sense. They’ll refuse to go to Starbucks because that “shit is so corporate.” Yet, they will have an IBM labtop with a Windows operating system, Xbox console made by Microsoft, wearing Nike high tops, and Starbucks is “too corporate”. Silly hoodrats.

7. They ask for “loans” that they have no intention of paying back for “business ventures” that include coffee carts, dry cleaning, and car washes, even though they don’t know the first thing about coffee carts, dry cleaning, and car washes. But they always retort “how hard can it be?”

And your loan goes “bye-bye”.

• A great gift for a Hoodrat you know!

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